Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
