Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
