just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
