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Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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