it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
