He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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