You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
