bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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