What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
