Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
