I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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