It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
