the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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