The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
