i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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