I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
