Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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