So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
