And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
we should paint friendship bongs
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
