You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
