I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
