two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
