Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
