ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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