There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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