Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
