and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I didn't shave. On purpose
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
