No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
