I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
