how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
