I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
