Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
