You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
