my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
