her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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