Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
