i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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