FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize