My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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