Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
