I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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