About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
