I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
People in love make me want to vomit
im having a threesome with these popsicles
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
