So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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