I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
