There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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