remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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