It's like a parade of train wrecks.
do herpes really smell.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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