problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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