No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
