I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
