So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
