In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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