I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
