Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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