you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We don't watch enough power rangers
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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