tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
